3-2-1 Blast off!

I wish I had something great to write about, but this is just a vent post. Hopefully to be followed by a brighter, happier post.
It's depressing having a child that is unhappy most of the time. It makes you wonder "is it my parenting skills or lack of"? Why won't this kid just be happy. I love Eli with all my heart, but there are times, like today, that make me want to send him in a rocket to the moon! Moms aren't supposed to say things like that, right? Well spend a little time on your own with him and you might understand. He should have been the first born when you don't know any different and you think all babies are this way. He's generally dissatisfied and seems really insecure. He doesn't sleep well still either. I mean he's making it from 8:30pm to 5am, but at what cost? Neither Aaron nor I can sleep in our own room. This baby has our master bedroom to himself because if one of us sleeps in our bed and has the audacity to roll over we'll wake the little prince up. So if any of us want to get a descent night's sleep we give Eli the peace he needs. He doesn't nap well either. We're lucky if he sleeps one and a half hours in a day. TOTAL. Since he's such a grumpy bugger when he's awake, we need the down time to recharge, but often times it's not much. He's so tired and he won't sleep, it's frustrating for him, it's frustrating for us. I want to enjoy him. I just want to know when will this get easier? After it didn't happen at 6 months, I thought for sure it would get better after he turned one. Not so. In fact one area that he was easy in, eating, he's complicated. He's great at communicating though. He knows a bunch of ways to tell us no. It's been an exhausting uphill climb with him and I don't even care about the downhill, I'm just looking forward to it being level.