Overcome

What do you think of when you hear the word overcome? It can convey a lot of different messages. Overcome with grief, overcome obstacles, overcome with joy. Overcome is my word of the year, both positively and negatively. This morning I was overcome with happiness when I heard Noah singing "This little light of mine". I just felt so fortunate to be a mother and to get to be a part of watching these little children grow. I was also overcome with tears as I went through all my baby girl clothes. I'm definitely done having children. I don't feel like anyone is missing from our family, it's just when I packed up those clothes 9 years ago I didn't realize the next time I would go through them would be to give them away. Just remembering Mia's tiny little hands, body and sweet baby face in those outfits really got the water works flowing. I'm keeping a few of the most precious, but other than that they're gone.
Earlier this week I was overcome with fear when an acquaintance of mine lost her four month old daughter to SIDS. I've struggled a lot with Eli. He hasn't been an easy baby to please, but I love him dearly and the thought of losing him makes my heart hurt. I felt physically ill for this mother who would do anything to have her baby back. I would much rather be woken up by Eli all night long than find him not waking up at all. I couldn't even imagine that pain.
I've also felt very overcome by time this year. I want more time. I need more time to spend with Aaron, to spend with each child, and to spend by myself! It's been hard trying to figure out what or who comes first. Laundry's backing up, dinner needs to be made, baby needs to be changed and Kai wants to read a story. Where do I start? I would love more time. Or a maid.
Whenever I'm overcome, good or bad, I do like a little blue fish says "just keep swimming, just keep swimming".