That's what I get for doing the dishes!

GRRR! I am so mad, and I am NOT just saying that. I am about to have a massive vent session here. So all last week I spent my time cleaning up throw up(all Kai) and wiping never ending snot(Kai and Noah). I didn't get much done around the house because of it. Saturday, Sunday and today I have been constantly been playing catch up with chores-and it's not even deep cleaning just the stuff that has to get done. So both the boys were sitting in front of the TV eating cheerios and I went to do my mountain of dishes. All I have left are the dishes that need to be done by hand and I look up and don't see them in the living room, I look in the playroom, no boys. I go into their bedroom, no boys! What the heck? I go back out in the living room and there's my answer they are IN the fireplace, not standing in front actually inside playing in the ash and soot. We have screen in front, but even Noah can push it aside, we've tried putting bricks in front, but it's not enough. It's a wood burning fireplace and I was just glad that we didn't have a fire last night so they weren't burned by the embers. Anyway, Noah had it the worst. It was in his mouth, his hands were black, and the front side of him was covered in ash. I spent a few minutes flushing out his mouth and stripped him down and started a tub. Grabbed Kai and had an out of the ordinary morning bath. So there my boys were all clean, smelling sweet in their fresh clothes and you think my story would end there, but it doesn't. I put them in the playroom and dump out a huge tub of toys and figure that will keep them occupied. I finish my dishes, check on them, they're happy as freaking clams. I go back to my bedroom to sort laundry and a couple minutes later I notice their voices sound further away. I run out and I am almost beside myself, they are BACK INSIDE THE FIREPLACE. Noah had on a cute Christmas shirt that was of course white and now is probably ruined. I literally screamed at the top of my lungs. I was shouting "NO" and popped them both on the bottom, I hope that gets the message across for them to -Keep Out-. Yes, I popped a 10 month old on the bottom, call CPS on me I'm a terrible mother. They were both crying, I was almost crying I couldn't believe 15 minutes after they were both scrubbed clean, I had to do it again. I couldn't believe that all I was trying to do was catch up on my housework and it just turned out so bad. I put them in my shower this time for a quick rinse off, I wasn't going through the whole 9 yards again. Noah and Kai were both trying to get out on different sides of the shower and Kai runs Noah's finger over with the shower door, so now Noah is screaming again and blood is dripping. I am ready to pull a Marie Osmond at this point and I'm not talking about her fainting episode, remember a few years ago when she ran off and didn't tell her family where she was?? Yeah, I'm ready to pull that kind of Marie Osmond! I fix Noah up and dry them off, dress them for the third time before 11 am and give them snuggles so they know I still love them. Then I called Aaron and told him I am scheduling a vasectomy for him, I can't handle any more kids! Now I feel like I can't even use the bathroom, for fear of them climbing into the fireplace and I am dreading getting a christmas tree. I want a 4 footer that I can put on a table, but Aaron says no way. Easy for him to say I am the one who will have to sit in front of it all day long to keep the kids away from it. Bah humbug!!!! Not a good way to start the week :(